304- Ken and Barbie

Romance Day#2: Day 62 of 365

The plastic romance of Barbara Millicent Roberts and her boyfriend Ken Carson is definitely one for the ages. With their creation in the early 1960’s, both have managed to keep their unreal appearance completely authentic and genuine—no Botox, waxing, or boob jobs needed (I suppose being made supremely perfect already helps this cause...).

Although rumors emerged in 2004 that their relationship was on the rocks due to Ken’s non-committal attitude, they have remained an item. Not having Ken and Barbie together would be akin to separating peanut butter from jelly, or banning peanuts from the baseball park. It would simply be un-American.

Un-American, I tell you.

While little girls dream of the Barbie lifestyle, parents shouldn’t be concerned that she’s setting a bad example by dating Ken for over sixty years without tying the knot. Co-habitation? “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?” It’s a non-issue. Their love is strictly buddy-buddy and platonic. After all, they’re androgynous.

I mean c'mon... have you seen those blank anatomical slates down there?

Here’s to hoping that future generations of young Americans will continue to daydream of Ken and Barbie’s African Safaris, Malibu mansions, and unrealistic endeavors. It’s good to know they can keep La-La land a reality while the rest of us chip away at our woefully average lives.

I know it sure helps me sleep at night...